VARNVILLE — There is a plumber in this county who makes more per hour than the man who writes your laws. That is not an indictment of plumbers. It is a sign that the rest of us have forgotten something our grandfathers knew.

The Price of Helplessness

Not everything in a house requires a contractor. A running toilet, a dripping faucet, a pipe that rattles when the washing machine fills — these are problems that have been solved by amateurs for centuries. The amateur simply reads the instructions, watches a video made by someone who has done it, and tries.

The alternative is to call a man who charges seventy-five dollars just to show up. There is no shame in hiring a professional when the problem is beyond your skill. But there is shame, albeit quiet and invisible, in never trying at all.

What Tools to Own

Every house in Hampton County ought to have: a crescent wrench, a pipe wrench, plumber's tape, a plunger that actually works, and the humility to admit when the job requires someone licensed. The last item costs nothing and saves thousands.

When to Call the Man

If it involves gas, if it requires cutting into a load-bearing wall, or if you smell gas and hear water simultaneously, put the wrench down. Some problems are not worth dying to solve cheaply. But the majority of household leaks are not those problems.

For the Record: Source: Observation, experience, and the cumulative wisdom of every grandfather in the rural South. No plumbers were interviewed for this column. Last verified: April 25, 2026.